Exercises:
Maintaining coherence
Related column: “Good sentences maintain large and little links”
Related column: “Sometimes the passive voice is better than the active”
Maintaining coherence by not splitting comparative phrasesExamples from column: 1. Change "She offered a different proposal from mine''
to "She offered a proposal different from mine.'' Exercises: 1. We formulated a bolder plan than our competitor's. 2. My friend offered a daring enough proposal to inspire our entire department. 3. Our analysts made as accurate a prediction as theirs. 4. He concocted as crazy a plan as yours. 5. She wrote a more brilliant proposal than any other I have seen in 10 years.
1. We formulated a plan bolder than our competitor's.
2. My friend offered a proposal daring enough to inspire our entire department.
3. Our analysts made a prediction as accurate as theirs.
4. He concocted a plan as crazy as yours.
5. She wrote a proposal more brilliant than any other I have seen in 10 years. Related column: “Good sentences maintain large and little links”
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Maintaining coherence by using passive constructions in relative clausesExamples from column: 1. Change "Information our engineers provide to our marketing staff must be accurate" to "Information provided by our engineers to our marketing staff must be accurate." 2. Change "The plan our marketing staff unveiled is ambitious" to "The plan unveiled by our marketing staff is ambitious." 3. Change "A goal all writers share is clarity" to
"A goal shared by all writers is clarity." Exercises: 1. The committee the governor appointed is pro-development. 2. The birch-bark canoes the Ojibwe constructed were stored at the bottoms of lakes and ponds over the winter. 3. The wolf the man had cornered turned and stood its ground. 4. The mess the gaggle of teenagers left behind was prodigious. 5. The scene the author had adumbrated was skillfully rendered.
1. The committee appointed by the governor is pro-development.
2. The birch-bark canoes constructed by the Ojibwe were stored at the bottoms of lakes and ponds over the winter.
3. The wolf cornered by the man turned and stood its ground
4. The mess left behind by the gaggle of teenagers was prodigious.
5. The scene adumbrated by the author was skillfully rendered. |
Related column: “Sometimes the passive voice is better than the active”