As the poet finished reading his last poem, the man standing next to me held out his big beefy hand.

"Name’s Earl," he said. "That was some reading, wasn’t it?"

"Yes," I said. "I’m glad I came."

"Me, too," he said, "but to tell you the truth, I didn’t get the part about stopping at night to watch some guy’s woods fill up with snow."

"Oh, you mean the Frost poem."

"No," he said, "I’m sure it was snow. I mean, I’m not disinterested in poetry, but the only reason I came here is my fiancée told me I needed some culture."

"Well, I hope you’ll come to more readings," I said, "but if you don’t mind my pointing this out to you, I think you meant uninterested. Disinterested means you’re impartial. Uninterested means you don’t care."

"Oh, I’m not adverse to poetry," he said.  "I just wish more of it rhymed. I’m a roses-are-red, violets-are-blue kind of guy."

"I like rhyming poetry, too," I said, "but the word you wanted was averse. Adverse means unfavorable. Averse means to be strongly opposed to something."

"Well, that would be one verse too many for me," he said, "if you catch my inference."

"You meant implication," I said. "To infer is to draw a conclusion. To imply is to suggest something."

"Oh, my," he said, "I hope you don’t think I’m mitigating against using the right words, but sometimes I find English just plain tortuous."

"Well, I think everyone is baffled by its complexity at times . . ."

"Not to mention raffled," he said, winking.

". . . but the word you wanted was militate. To mitigate means to moderate the intensity of something. To militate against means to work against something."

"Exactly," Earl said.

"Also, you meant torturous. Tortuous means winding or twisting, as in a tortuous road; torturous is related to pain or torture, as in a torturous lecture."

"Well," he said, lowering his voice and putting his arm around my shoulder, "it’s not my intention to flaunt the rules of English."

"Of course not," I said, "but you meant flout. Flaunt means to show off; flout means to show contempt for. You flaunt your good looks; you flout the rules."

"Thank you," he said. "I do whatever I can to assure I use the right words."

"Then you’ll want to ensure that you use them correctly. To assure means to promise or give confidence to someone. To ensure means to bring about."

"Couldn’t have put it better myself!" he said. "There are so many confusing words, i.e., constitute and constipate."

"Well, that’s a new one on me . . ."

"I know," he said, thumping me on the back. "I get a laugh out of that one every time."

". . . but you meant e.g. – i.e. is an abbreviation for the Latin words id est, meaning 'that is' or 'in other words'; e.g. is an abbreviation for the Latin exempli gratia, which means 'for example.'"